


Pristine Arms

by Flowersandtrees



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, I'm Sorry, Other, Sad, Tree Bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 21:54:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14090493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowersandtrees/pseuds/Flowersandtrees
Summary: Connor wakes up with no recollection of what's going on. Evan finds him.Based off of mush roomies videoI know there are like three of these but I had to





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's super fucking sad but unlike everyone else I just couldn't kill my son I'm sorry I love him

Connor's eyes slowly opened as he drearily stared up at the sunset coloured sky. He felt light headed, and yet he also had a feeling of, uncertainty. He felt as if he wasn't supposed to be here,  _ he shouldn't be here.  _ Sitting up, he tried and tried to rack his brain for something to remember, to recall. He stared down at his arms, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His arms were so clear, so clean. He couldn't remember the last time the skin had been this clean.  _ Had they ever been this clean?  _ Connor could feel the faint vibrations of thudding footsteps, but he first paid them no mind, still staring at his arms. A vague memory flashed his mind, showing his pristine arms, littered and covered with cuts and scars. He gulped, though the feeling burned, and was difficult. It was as if something was stuck in his throat, and was choking him. He sat staring down, realizing the ringing in his ears had died down. Was it violent before?  _ He remembered it was screaming.  _ His body felt heavy, and felt as if it was pulling him somewhere, but he was unsure of why. 

 

“Connor! Connor!” He heard a voice shouting, and Connor was snapped out of his trance. In the distance, a boy wearing a blue striped polo and khaki pants could be seen, running through the trees of the forest Connor just realized he was in. He'd woken up under a tree, how didn't he realize? Evan was running, in search of the taller boy, his breath coming out in short, difficult puffs. He'd been running for quite some time. 

 

“Come home!!” Connor stood, waving his arms, and in hopes that Evan could see him. The boy's face was red and puffy, like his eyes, and it was obvious he was crying. Tears still streamed his cheeks as he ran, finally breaking to a stop a few feet away from where Connor stood. The brunette smiled weakly, and opened his arms for a hug. He watched as Evan took a sharp gasp, his hands flying up to his mouth. He waited for the impact of the hug as the boy ran full force towards him, but it never came.  _ Evan ran right through him.  _ A heartbroken scream pierced the air, and yet Connor was left stunned, his body frozen as he took into account what had just happened. 

 

“Connor!” Evan had dropped to the ground, screaming and crying out Connor's name, as well as repeating “come home”, over and over again. Connor shook himself from his stupor, and turned around to see what Evan had been crying about. His eyes widened as he took in the sight that Evan saw. Now he knew why he woke up under a tree.  _ There, in the alcove of a hollowed out tree trunk, hung Connor's lifeless body.  _ It was weird, seeing his own body just.. Hanging there. His sleeves were rolled up and scars and cuts were everywhere, the dried blood having left a trail down his arm to his fingertips. The area around his neck where the rope was, was bruising, and Connor's face was blank. Evan stood up, with about as much force as he had when he'd braked, and rushed over to the brunettes body. He began untying the rope, practically ripping at it, and hoisted Connor's body down with more strength than the boy had ever seen him have. Connor watched the scene in shocked silence. How did this happen? What had happened that lead up to this? If he was dead, why was he still here? Why did his body feel so heavy? 

 

“Come home Connor, don't leave me, don't you dare leave me!” Evan sobbed, feeling frantically for a pulse. 

 

It was faint,  _ but it was there.  _ Connor took staggering steps towards Evan, feeling his apparition of a body getting heavier and heavier with each step he took towards his real body. Evan had dialed for the paramedics, and was sobbing their location and Connor's condition. Connor kept his eyes on his body. Had he actually done it? Had he actually went through with it? What had happened?

 

The boy faintly recalled Larry's yelling at him, the man Connor could no longer call a “father” hitting him. He remembered getting into a fight at school, and the staring and the name calling. He'd remembered how he wanted it all to  _ stop _ , and how he'd gotten into his car and sped to the orchard. Connor's eyes moved back to the base of the tree, spotting a cellphone, probably dead, laying on the ground. He'd remembered sending one last “I love you” text to Evan. His Evan, the beautiful boy who had come looking for him when no one else would. Evan was following the instructions the paramedics had given to him, performing mouth to mouth in an attempt to resuscitate the boy. Connor kneeled next to Evan, tears glistening in his eyes. Can ghosts cry? Was he even considered a ghost if he was alive, yet just barely? 

 

“I'm so sorry Ev, I didn't want to do this to you, I shouldn't have done this to you.”

 

“Connor..”

 

“I've been terrible, such a stupid fucking friend..”

 

“Don't leave me Con!”

 

“You don't deserve this, you don't deserve  _ me.” _

 

“Please, just  _ come home. _ ” It was a one sided conversation, yet Connor felt as if he'd needed to say these things, in case. Just in case. The faint, yet familiar sounds of the ambulance arriving echoed through the trees, as they made their way to Evan's location. Evan knew they couldn't drive through the trees, and thus picked Connor up, carrying the boy bridal style. Connor felt a faint heartbeat in his chest, the tightness around his throat was gone.  _ Was he going to be saved?  _ The blonde began carrying Connor to where the paramedics must be, aiming to meet them halfway. Connor felt himself being urged to go after them,  _ after his body _ . He followed, as Evan ran towards where two paramedics carrying a stretcher stood, helping them place his body down. 

 

“He-He’s alive, he has, has a pulse! Save him, just save him!!” The tanned boy sobbed, being pulled away from Connor's body as they put him in the ambulance. Evan jumped into the vehicle after them, still sobbing as doctors worked to put a breathing mask on the teen. Connor stood outside the ambulance, just staring. Just a ways behind him, there was a light. It was bright, soft, warm.  _ It felt like home.  _ Connor wanted to follow, he wanted to go, it felt safe there, past the light. 

 

But then there was Evan, his Evan. He'd never told the boy I love you at all, up until that text. How long ago was it sent? How long had he been in the forest? Surely not long enough, if he still had a pulse. What would've happened if he'd sent that text just before he hung himself? Would Evan have never arrived on time?  _ Would he never find out if Evan loved him back?  _ Connor took another look in the direction of the light, as the ambulance sped off into the darkness of the night. He stared at it, filled with the urge to go towards it, to be  _ free _ . 

  
  


He followed the ambulance. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor comes home.

Bright lights, muffled voices and white. That's all Connor could see and hear around him. His vision was blurry and there was something over his mouth, having him breathe in weird tasting air, but air. He could hear someone crying. Two people crying? He was unsure. Connor's eyes caught a hint of blue through the people, doctors around him, and passed out once again. 

Connor doesn't know how long he was out for this time, but when he woke up again, he was staring at the white ceiling of a hospital room. How did he get here? Last he remembered, he was in the orchard, and he had tied the rope around his neck. Groaning softly, he turned his head to the side, seeing the door to his room, and it was empty for the most part. On his bedside table, there was a small bonsai plant, and a card. A small gasp could be heard on the other side of him, and Connor turned his head again, to see Evan smiling wide, tears welling in his eyes. The blonde grabbed Connor's hand, intertwining his fingers with the taller boy's. 

 

“Connor-” Evan's voice cracked, and the tears decided that moment was a good time to fall. The boy sniffled and used his other arm to wipe away the tears, and Connor chuckled at the sight. Evan looked back at the boy, closing his eyes and beaming at Connor.

 

“I love you too. Welcome home.”


End file.
